|
| |
Main Board
Random... Forums
Award winning napkin poem.Award winning napkin poem.
Demi Lune
"The what now?"
Posts: 909
May 31st - 09:46 | I was bored while I was eating lunch tuesday. I had signed up for a poetry contest on a game around the same size as MonBre. Maybe a bit bigger, maybe a bit smaller, I'm not 100% sure. So, I did what I do best - I wrote notes for myself on whatever was closest.
The end result is a subpar poem that was written on a napkin.
"Tick, tock, eternal clock,
Keeps the meter of time,
And the measure of our lives.
The rhythm of fate,
Leads to crescendos and chorus,
And, unrelenting, to the climax of our time.
Logically, we know,
That the crest follows the trough,
And the trough follows the crest.
Yet we refuse to accept,
What we know to be true.
Good things come to those who wait,
While sloth is a cardinal sin,
And the just are condemned for their patience.
Quite the grave misunderstanding.
Parents teach their children right from wrong,
What�s good, and what�s bad,
And then forget to lead by example.
Science, more than anything,
Is just separating what we understand from what we don�t.
Life is just plain confusing, isn�t it?"
Critics have described it as "having good depth," "well-written," "well-communicated." I was awarded 27/30 points. Got 2/3 votes in the tie-breaker, and beat some guy that's well-established in the community and routinely beats my noob ass with a club.
My prize? Useless in-game credits to be used for who knows what in the future. Currently only used for uploading a custom avatar and changing your name on the forums/chat.
It wasn't particularly deep. My themes were shaky at best, relying entirely on words that would hopefully sound neat.
It was horribly written, there was no poetic conventions or anything in there. It was "prose" at best. The shortening each stanza is a kinda cool stylistic thing, but can't quite live up to iambic pentameter or haiku or what have you. Things didn't flow all that well, etc... I just didn't want to spend much time on it.
Well-communicated, I guess. It depends on what you think I'm trying to communicate. I started every third line in a stanza with "and" and had a different "theme" in each one, what could I really be trying to communicate?
Oh, apparently my stanza about patience/sloth was "great." I hated it, and was asking people for suggestions of what to replace it with. Nobody had any good ideas, though, so it got submitted as-is.
----
But when that call never comes, it's time to face what you've become - there's no point doing all of this, unless you know you're having fun. |
Vanilla Name
"h"
Posts: 1275
06/01/2009 08:22 | Pretty neat 
----
h |
Demi Lune
"The what now?"
Posts: 909
06/01/2009 14:54 | That's what I was hoping for, and I guess it worked XD
----
But when that call never comes, it's time to face what you've become - there's no point doing all of this, unless you know you're having fun. |
Vanilla Name
"h"
Posts: 1275
06/01/2009 16:14 | Well it's not crapoetry
It's pretty good
^.^
----
h |
Demi Lune
"The what now?"
Posts: 909
06/02/2009 05:58 | The best thing I ever wrote got eaten by my dog before I could show it to the person it was about.
I was sad.
However, it did get typed up and put on the internet, but of course that somehow managed to delete itself...
Le sigh.
----
But when that call never comes, it's time to face what you've become - there's no point doing all of this, unless you know you're having fun. |
You can only post replies if you're logged in.
|
| |
Created by Vael Victus 2007-2024
|
